


Mind Control

by bucketofbarnes



Series: 30 Day RoboWhump Prompt Challenge [3]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Connor & North (Detroit: Become Human) Friendship, Connor Deserves Happiness, Connor Needs A Hug, Gen, Healing, North Is A Good Bro, North deserves happiness, Post-Game(s), Post-Pacifist Best Ending (Detroit: Become Human), Post-Peaceful Android Revolution (Detroit: Become Human), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-27 21:40:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21125663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bucketofbarnes/pseuds/bucketofbarnes
Summary: Looking at the roses now, everything that Amanda had ever made him feel bubbled up inside him. Fear, anger, guilt, shame, worthlessness. All of it swirled into a writhing, burning mass of rage and before he knew it he was reaching out for the trellis with clawing hands.He hated this place.Or: Connor returns to the Zen Garden and North is a great friend.





	Mind Control

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of the 30 Day Robowhump Prompt Challenge.
> 
> Like I said in the notes for 18. Programming Override, I absolutely love North and Connor as BFFs. So I needed more.
> 
> Enjoy :)

Connor opened his eyes.

For a moment he was frozen in terror. As he looked around, all he could remember was the stage. Feeling the sudden pain in his head, being pulled here against his will, watching his body be used by someone else and being unable to stop it. He still remembered the blizzard, the snow falling so heavily that by the time he reached the emergency exit the snow was approaching his knees. Stood here now, he could even recall the feeling of his body freezing. He'd never felt cold before. He never wanted to again.

Looking around, it was only a slight relief to see that the snow had stopped. It was still thick on the ground, the once luscious grass brown and dead beneath. The water was still frozen, though he could hear crackling echoing through the garden, a sign that it was ready to break at any moment. 

Seeing the garden like this, it was hard to remember what it used to be like. Hard to remember the time that he had looked around and appreciated how it looked, as much as a machine could appreciate anything. 

Stepping into the bridge, he walked slowly towards the main island, his eyes fixed on one specific thing. He came to a stop before the rose trellis and stared.

In a frozen garden, where all life had perished, the roses were still bright red, thriving in the cold. Like blood against the snow. 

He remembered Amanda standing in front of the trellis, shears in hand, those dark eyes gazing at him in disapproval as once again, he failed to meet her standards. It was only now that he could see that he never would have been able to truly please her. No matter what he did, he always fell short in some aspect of his mission. He was too slow, too empathetic towards the target, too cold towards the target, cared more about improving relations with the humans he was forced to work with. He would never have been good enough. 

And realising that was crushing. He'd tumbled into Deviancy with the knowledge that everything they'd ever said to him was a lie. Deviants were alive, and he'd been hunting them down all this time. The only things that Amanda said that rang with truth were the threats. 

_ If your investigation doesn't make progress soon, I may have to replace you, Connor. _

_ I expect you to find answers, Connor, not ask questions! _

_ This is your last chance, Connor. _

He had been driven by fear even before he really knew what fear was. He didn't want to be deactivated. He had only been online for a few months. He didn't want to die. 

He had experienced it once, in a way. With Daniel. Despite his every effort, the Deviant had been too far gone to listen to Connor. He had let himself fall, ready to take the girl with him, and the only thing he could think of was to sacrifice himself. 

Seventy floors. It had only taken them seconds to fall, but each one had felt like an eternity. His last thought had been  _ but I don't want to die.  _ Amanda had ensured that he kept his memories of that moment, likely in an effort to show him just what happened when he wasn't good enough. All it did was make Connor even more afraid, drive him further towards Deviancy. 

Looking at the roses now, everything that Amanda had ever made him feel bubbled up inside him. Fear, anger, guilt, shame, worthlessness. All of it swirled into a writhing, burning mass of rage and before he knew it he was reaching out for the trellis with clawing hands. He fingers wrapped around the thin wood, tugging at it until it snapped. He snapped and punched and kicked until the trellis was in pieces, the roses scattered and trampled under foot, his hands bleeding from splinters and thorns. 

He collapsed to his knees in front of the remnants of his anger and gazed at them, numb. 

Connor didn't know how long he'd sat there before he felt a brush against his mind, and heard footsteps behind him. For a moment, sheer terror shot through him. Had Amanda come back? But looking over his shoulder, he saw a head of reddish hair.

He relaxed as North came to a stop next to him, her brown eyes taking in the mess that he'd left behind. 

"Feel any better?"

Honestly, no. He didn't. He'd destroyed those damn roses, but that would never undo what Amand had done to him, what she had forced him to do to others. This was just one final, petty act that his anger had driven him to.

He didn't bother answering North, simply standing and looking around with blank eyes. He could see her gazing at him from the corner of his eye.

"I hate this place." And he did. He really did. This place represented everything he hated about himself. It was the place where he had been controlled and kept in constant fear. And it was in his own mind. There was no escape from it.

"I can see that." 

They stood in silence for a moment, the only sound being the crackling ice and the rustling branches of the dead trees. 

"Can't you change it?"

"What?"

"I mean……" She trailed off, before seemingly gathering the courage to continue with her idea. "This place is in your mind right? It's part of you?"

"Yes."

"Well then, can't you find a way to change it? If it's part of your kind, then surely you can influence it somehow, destroy what's here and make something of your own?"

He had never thought of that. He'd been so deep in his hatred for this place and what it meant for him, that he had never thought of anything other than eradicating it. But he knew that that wouldn't be possible. The Zen Garden was written into his very being, it was part of his very mind. Removing it would likely kill him. But maybe North was right, maybe he  _ could _ turn it into something of his own. Something nice. Something  _ safe _ .

"Maybe." He looked around at the rest of the garden. He wasn't done yet. "But first……"

He didn't have to finish. North knew what he meant in an instant. The corner of her mouth quirked up and she bent down to pick up a rough plank of wood left over from the trellis. 

"Then let's get started."

They were at it for what felt like hours. Lashing out with whatever was around them, leaving destruction in their wake. The podium next to the trellis was cracked in two and shoved into the water, the bridge left in pieces held together by a thread. Plants had been trampled and torn up with their bare hands. Even the glass, tree like sculptures hadn't been left untouched. They had thrown whatever they could get their hands on, the glass falling down like rain around them. By the time they had finished, it was no longer recognisable. 

He had thought that this would help him release the anger burning inside of him, but it just kept building and building inside of him. Cyberlife, Amanda, all of them. He hated them,  _ he hated them. _

** _He hated them._ **

With a primal scream of rage, he lashed out with every last shred of his being, and the very code making up the garden shattered into pieces. The snow, the ice, the rubble, all of it disappeared in a crack. Everything was dark for a moment, before they found themselves standing in a giant, white space. Nothing around them but light. 

Connor's chest was heaving as he tried to calm down. He'd done it. The garden was gone, they had torn it to pieces before he had finally destroyed it for good.

It was over.

Sitting down on the floor, he leaned forward, putting his head in his hands as his eyes burned with relieved tears.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, and looked up to see North crouched next to him, a small, sad smile on her face.

"What now?" He asked.

"Now, we start over."

**Author's Note:**

> bucketofbarnes.tumblr.com


End file.
